A New List!

I know exactly what you're thinking: "What's a "P" doing with a list, let alone two?" Believe me, I understand. Before you have a fear of me slipping completely into "J"ness and having a list of lists, let me explain.

It has been brought to my attention, most notably by Pr. David Hively, that we are all too quick to point out when people do things poorly but very slow to announce when someone does something well. While the "People Who Need a Punch in the Face" list is quite good and extensive, it should not be left unchecked. That being said, in order to maintain dualistic tension, I hereby announce the construction of the "People Who Deserve a Biscuit" list. The story of the biscuit is told in the post directly below this one.

The inaugural member of the "People Who Deserve a Biscuit" list is Pastor George Haynes from Rockport, Texas. Pastor Haynes is one of the Stewardship Key Leaders for the ELCA. He is organizing and heading the stewardship campaign at St. Mark. He preached three of the most energetic sermons I have ever seen, back to back to back. Then, he got up and gave two consecutive talks sharing the vision of the future with the congregation. Beyond that, he was up at 5 on Sunday morning, and it was nearly 2:30 when we dropped him off at the airport, still as upbeat and joyful as when I first saw him that morning. Sure, anybody might be able to do that, but here's the kicker...he's 79 years old. He truly is a model of following the vision and living a full life in the faith. Bravo, Pr. Haynes. Bra-vo, a biscuit for you.

The Story of the Biscuit

A long time ago in a land far, far away there was a kingdom called Eastern Michigan University. While several of the princes of this kingdom were returning from their dining engagements, one of them, Kirk, held aloft a fresh biscuit procured from the dining commons. Kirk, the drummer and heavy metal enthusiast of the group, then declared, "Alas, I shall give this biscuit to the next person my eyes fall upon." As luck would have it, a mere five steps after uttering this quote, a knight drew near. Kirk extended his hand with the most precious object and asked, "Hey, man you want a biscuit?" to which the knight replied, "Naw, dog. I'm tight."

To deny such a gift was an insult to the group of princes as they snickered at the exchange of words. Which led to a meeting of the princes. It was thus declared that a biscuit is not something that could be handed out to any Tom, Dick, or Sally. The decision to pass on a biscuit must be heavily weighed and analyzed, for some cannot handle the prize, and some are not worthy of trying. From that day forward, a biscuit would be presented to whomever the princes deemed worthy, and thus the tradition of the bestowing of the biscuit was born.