In an attempt to create a more European flare in my life, I've decided that at some point along the way, I would like a pee wall in my house. Imagine, if you will, a urinal posted on a wall only extended from one wall to the other. An entire wall you can pee on! When you flip the light switch upon entering the bathroom, it starts a waterfall which washes the entire wall.
"That's a good start," you say, "but I need more." Alright, how about this: we put a scoreboard at the top of the wall, and two large buttons at opposite ends. A timer starts when you begin urination, and you have to sprint back and forth from one end to the other, trying to get the highest score. Naturally, there will be a high score record maintained.
"Now you're talkin'," you say, "but would I want to drive fifteen minutes just to pee on your wall?" Well, no. Not if that was the final plan, so lets up the ante a bit. Scratch the wall; make the entire room the urinal, and have a rotating platform in the middle, surrounded by targets on four sides. It keeps the spirit of the competition alive, while adding a difficulty and freedom to the experience.
"Holy cow, that's amazing!" you exclaim. Perhaps, but in order to make this phenomenon achieve international appeal, it needs more beef. And so, the final touch to the Pee Room: A hydraulic char/lift. Now you have 16 different targets all at different levels which will light in random order giving you the opportunity to create an amusement ride out of your next bathroom trip!
"That sounds like you'd pee on yourself quite a bit." Well, we are prepared for such problems, which is why there is a dressing room corridor, where you strip down before entering, and which will also hose you off before you adorn your t-shirt and jeans once again.
"Never before has urination been so fascinating." -Chicago Sun Times
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2 comments:
Oh my lanta
Interesting concept. Could make the bathroom experience fun.
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