I would want to be a turtle.
Upsides:
- Turtles don't give a crap what you have to say about anything, they're just always mellow.
- Ability to change into "Leave me the f- alone" mode without much work/fit throwing.
- Hard candy shell prevents melting in mouth and hand.
- Only needs to know how to count to four, afer that, no more digits = unimportant.
- Works on land and water.
- Drop babies in a hole in the ground and walk away.
- Not as harvested as chickens.
- Everyone thinks it's cool when they see you
Downsides:
- Almost guaranteed not to win an Olympic Gold Medal.
- Genetic mutations not quite as cool as other species. (Splinter > Leonardo)
- Worse hops than white men.
- No more steaks.
All in all, I'd say not a bad swap. I'd be alright being a turtle.
5 comments:
What about the possibility of falling upside down and never getting back up?
And another note on mutations, don't forget the two headed turtles. You could have some freaking weird offspring.
hmmm interesting
and don't forget the bratty people who might put you in glass boxes and poke you all the time....
perhaps you should also suggest animals to your friends as well..
Many things to think about. I think perhaps you all should make your own animal suggestions, that way I don't forget/insult anyone.
And definitely a good point about the failed backflips gone wrong. But I think if I work on my breakdancing a little bit, I might be able to fix it.
well you can forget or insult me anytime....I am gonna have to give this animal thing some thought...hmmm
You know, if you're lucky enough to survive the baby turtle stage (you know, the part where you hatch from the egg, almost give yourself a stroke getting from the hole your mom left you in to the ocean, and manage to out-swim or hide from every other sea animal that wants to eat you for dinner), being a turtle might not be so bad...
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